This is a wide-view from the side of the Coral Princess as we go through the Panama Canal in January 2012.

Des Informations, des Idées, et des Opinions Suspectes - rarement mises à jour et de qualité douteuse.

What is something unrealistic that you often see in movies that annoys the hell out of you?

It's killing me to admit this but I did not write what follows. It was written for Quora by this cool young dude from Capetown named Zipho Tefu who is obviously a better writer than me, slightly better looking, and who has a much, much cooler name than me. Damn you Zipho.

1. The geeky girls in high school movies who are supposed to be ugly are still extremely damn good-looking

A pic of an extremely hot geeky girl.

2. When the real ugly person gets a 15 minute makeover and becomes the sexiest guy in the country wtf.

If it's a girl all they have to do is take of their glasses and let down their hair and suddenly they're America's next Top Model.

3. Drivers taking their eyes off the road for almost a minute to have a conversation with passenger

Yet somehow they miraculously keep the car straight and NEVER crash into anything. But if I look away for 6 seconds I've killed 4 people.

4. Bad guys missing EVERY SINGLE SHOT fired at the hero.

Henchmen with machine guns firing at the protagonist down a straight indoor hallway and missing every single one of the 50 shots fired. I'm pretty sure if you blindfolded a dude and told him to fire in the general direction of the protagonist at least a few bullets would hit.

6. Jumping out a glass window and coming out the otherside unscathed

I'm not even gonna mention how easily glass breaks in movies. But people will dive through a glass window head first and land on surface full of broken shards of glass and come out unscathed

7. High school students portrayed by someone clearly in their 30’s

Every Highschool senior looks like they've been a senior for 10 years

8. Superman holding a building up

I like when a building is practically falling over and Superman holds it up by something like the windows. The real superhero is the manufacturer of that window because it just supported an entire damn building.

9. Female protagonists in dystopian movies looking like Miss Universe

We're in a post apocalyptic world, and we've got badass female fighters, covered in blood and dirt because life is fucking tough, and she's tough. But you better believe her eye-liner game is on point. Because she's a warrior, not a goddamn savage.

10. The same badass female with perfectly waxed leg and armpit hair.

Because it's a tough world out there and surviving without silky smooth legs is not an option.

11. Cellphones never work in an emergency (See Home Alone)

Somehow they are lost, dead, out of coverage area, stolen, etc. It's cheap story telling. I am always amused at how creative movie makers become in order to destroy the cell phone plot-hole.

12. Sparing the villains life for a few minutes of monologue

I've watched countless movies that could've ended a lot sooner had the hero just not given a damn about the villains evil plan and dramatic backstory.

13. Letting off a damn .45 pistol indoors multiple times with no ear protection and carrying on normally like they're not temporarily deafened for the next 30 seconds.

Anybody who has actually shot a round of that will know how unrealistic that is.

14. Also racking back the slide on a handgun to do the "ch ch" thing that sounds cool before they shoot someone.

Unless you've literally just put the magazine in, all that will do is eject a perfectly good unused round out the side

15. Whenever there is a bird of prey, no matter what it is, they always use a red-tailed hawk call.

Because all birds of prey sound the same.

16. Computers that beep on every keystroke.

If that were real, nobody would last more than ten minutes before heaving the damn thing out of the nearest window.

17. Any device can be hacked no matter where or how far away it is.

Doesn't matter if the device is in another solar system. It can be hacked.

18. Hacking only takes a few seconds

I don't know who came up with the notion that anything from my grandma's toaster to the NSA’s satellite database can be hacked in 5 - 6 taps of a keyboard, but I'd like to have a word with them.

19. Everyone's house is so clean

No stray Cheetos, random toys or grubby counters? Not even a hair out of place.

20. Calling “HELLO?” when you think there's a serial killer in your home

Oh yeah because a serial killer would totally just respond like “Oh hey Brenda, I'm in the kitchen would you like a sandwich?”

21. Small misunderstandings leading to emotional breakups

Movie: Girl sees new boyfriend having lunch with another girl. Immediately freaks out and runs off. Guy yells, "Wait I can explain!"

Reality: Girl sees new boyfriend with another girl. She's concerned but walks up and says hi. He introduces other girl as his sister. Sister says she's heard so much about the girl. All is well.

22. Waking up with your hair perfect and not a drop of drool on your pillow

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only ugly sleeper in the world.

23. When aliens say “EARTH” they really just mean the USA

The only place aliens ever seem to land on.

24. Aliens can speak perfect English

Especially in Marvel. How tf does Thanos speak English? Star Wars was slightly better.

25. Children taking two bites of toast and a sip of orange juice before rushing out the house to go to school.

It is ALWAYS 2 BITES. Nevermind the fact that the mother woke up early a prepared a full 3 course breakfast.

26. After sex they just roll over like there's nothing to clean.

Never have to deal with wet sheets or bodies. (SH: Wet bodies? I think Zipho's still a virgin. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

27. Explosions that don't impair hearing

You'll see someone narrowly dive away from an explosion and walk away fine, because the only things that can harm you are the flames apparently.

28. You can knock anybody out with blunt force trauma without causing any serious injury or permanent damage.

They wake up with no headache or permanent brain damage.

29. Supervillians only operate in the same city as superheroes

Why can't the Joker just move to another city?

30. Bombs will always have a clearly visible timer

From the villains point of view its just good manners.

31. It is perfectly simple to resuscitate somebody with a few half hearted pushes as long as you say you love them

It usually goes something like this: “You can't leave me…please! Live Kyle! Live damn it! I love you!!! ”

Kyle: *coughs*

32. People never say goodbye when they hang up the phone

What is up with this? They just end call and walk away wtf?

33. High school party stereotypes

There will always be 500 people at the popular guy/girl's house playing beer pong and getting drunk with super loud music blasting through the streets. And at some point the cops show up to stop the party. This happens everytime without fail.

34. NOBODY POOPS

Pulp Fiction is an exception to this.

35. If the hero has to fight a group of bad guys, they'll sportingly attack him one at a time

I mean come on. It's just good manners.

36. People in grocery stores always have a baguette in their bag

Whenever someone in a movie goes grocery shopping, you can tell because they have a perfect French baguette and celery leaves poking out of the top of their brown paper bag. (SH: Actually, that's true here.)

37. Nobody sneezes

Never. Not once.

38. The news is always turned on at the perfect time

When someone gets a call and the other person says “Turn on the TV!” It's always turned on to the correct channel just as the news headline is at the perfect point for them to see.

39. It takes 12 seconds to strangle someone to death.

Yeah maybe I'm a super human, but I can hold my breath for over 2 minutes so that's not working on me.

40. If there's an ASIAN character in the movie, he will know martial arts

Because all 1.5 billion people in China are martial art Masters.

41. People running away from moving vehicles

I don't care how fast you are, unless you're the flash, you can not outrun a car from this century. (unless it's a toy car - then I back you)

42. Coughing generally equates to a terminal illness.

I've never seen a cough not mean anything in any movie in my life.

43. Subtitles.

This one takes the cake. I have spoken to many foreigners in real life and never seen any subtitles that translate what they're saying to English. Not true. Completely fake.

What is something unrealistic that you often see in movies that annoys the hell out of you?
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