Fantastically bad.
Finally after ninety-seven long days adrift Captain Pertwee was rescued, mercifully ending his miserable diet of rainwater and strips of sun dried Haddock which was actually far ghastlier than it sounded what with George Haddock being his former first mate. — Phillip Davies, Cardiff, U.K.
Whew Phillip, that was fantastically bad, which is good! That was
Phillip Davies winning entry into the 2012 Bulwer-Lytton
Fiction Contest, an annual tongue-in-cheek competition sponsored by
the English Department of San Jose University where each year, entrants
are invited to “compose the opening sentence to the worst of all
possible novels.” The prize? A 'pittance', whatever that is.
Seriously, any writer worth his salt knows and loves this thing.