A 360 degree panoramic of our campsite at Balsam Lake Provincial Park last May 2010.

Des Informations, des Idées, et des Opinions Suspectes - rarement mises à jour et de qualité douteuse.

I'm going to be on Wipeout!

I just want to get my hands on those big balls.

The Big Balls

Patti, Nik, Ellie, and I have been fans of Wipeout since the beginning, so when we saw the call recently to apply to be a contestant on Wipeout Canada, I knew I had to at least try to get on. So I have formally applied. I am pretty STOKED about it. I really HOPE I get accepted. And I KNOW I am going to hurt myself. A guy as klutzy as me is definitely going to get hurt. For instance, I will probably hit my head on some low hanging object if my everyday life is anything to go by. I'm just counting on the fact that nobody has ever been killed on Wipeout have they? You should see the disclaimer they make you sign. I will not hold Wipeout liable for "limb loss or maiming" What the what is that?!

Having never been on a TV show before, I thought the show would be shot in Toronto - they would build a Wipeout Canada set. But it seems the show (the whole season probably) will be filmed in Argentina in October. This is actually pretty smart because they can shoot Wipeout UK in September, Wipeout Australia in May...it must cost much less to simply fly the contestants out rather than each country having to build their own Wipeout set complete with Big Balls. So of course one of the conditions is that you have a valid passport. You must be crazy and have a valid passport.

headshot bodyshot

Applying for Wipeout Canada is a pretty involved process. A long questionnaire, a head shot, a body shot, and they strongly recommend that you supply them with a video. I was really stuck as to what form my audition video should take, and it never occurred to me to search for Wipeout Canada Audition Video on YouTube which actually turned out to be pretty smart because I think my audition video turned out pretty good relative to the others - even if it is really long. At more than 8 minutes, it's the longest of all the Wipeout Canada audition videos. It's hard to tell though if it showcases me properly - I'm worried they are going to call and say: "You know, we're not really interested in having you on the show, but would your little girl be available?

Please click on my video many times in order to get the page views up!

Some of the applications questions and my answers:

Have you ever won any academic prizes or scholarships? If so, what?
No, though I did apply, I has never won any of "them thar" akademic skolarships.

Have you ever had your IQ tested to join an organization like Mensa? If so, what did you get?
I vaguely recall applying for Mensa several years ago. I got a 3.

Have you ever entered a beauty contest? If so, how did you do?
No, but I am sure I would have done extremely well. It would not have been fair to the other contestants.

What would your friends say are your best qualities?
Oh, you know. Too nice, too funny. I always pick up the cheque at the bar. Excellent wing-man - that type of thing.

How would you use your Wipeout Canada winnings?
Probably build my own Big Balls in my backyard. Or give it all to charity. Or build a Big Balls for charity.

What would your Wipeout Canada nickname be?
Max Power, MLC, Big Mclargehuge

What would your Wipeout Canada 'shout out' be when you start the course?
Get off my lawn!
Freeeeedddoooooom!
This is Sparta!
meep!
#@!$%

What qualities will the winner of Wipeout Canada possess?
He'll be roughly 6'4" tall, brown hair, blue eyes, devilishly handsome, beautiful wife, awesome kids.

I'm going to be on Wipeout!

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Maybe read No Big Deal, a story I consider to be the very best thing I ever wrote.