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I may NOT be on Wipeout now

Stupid Canadian diversity...

Well, according to the Wipeout Facebook page, over 44,619 applications were received which just blows my mind because I'm sure applying for Wipeout is almost as scary as actually doing Wipeout. The release form you have to sign is just unreal. That's a lot of people to compete against for only a very finite number of spots. Still I was sure at the time of my application, that I would get on the show, here's why:

  • Sure, there were 44,619 applications, but only about 5,000 with accompanying YouTube videos.
  • You can't have a show depicting only fit, 20-something males. You also need fit 40-something males.
  • Several of my responses to the application questions were hilarious and witty.
  • I have a valid passport (Nigerian) and I do not have a criminal record (in Canada)

You'd think I would have received a call back within minutes of applying. BUT I DID NOT. Yet others near me HAVE gotten their callbacks. Because of this, I've given the whole thing some thought and I think I know now why I haven't received my call yet:

  • After I clicked "submit application" nothing happened. It made me wonder if my app was even received by the system.
  • Because of some absurdly Canadian desire for game show diversity, I sense that the producers of Wipeout Canada feel that their contestant pool must have an East Indian from Brampton, an Asian from Vancouver, and a hip, pierced, lesbian from T.O. - preferably black, etc. etc. etc. In this regard I am at a disadvantage because as you know (because I am always bragging about it) I am only 1/264 black and not at all lesbian - yet.

I am totally WILLING to become black and lesbian in order to get on Wipeout Canada...but I will never become Dutch because as I am (also) always saying: "There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."

I may NOT be on Wipeout now

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Maybe read No Big Deal, a story I consider to be the very best thing I ever wrote.