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Tips to Eliminate SPAM

SPAM emails.  Oh. That's unfortunate.

In my job as an athlete, supermodel, and IT consultant, I'm often asked how to eliminate spam email. I've had much success with the methods detailed heretofore (below):

But first of all, what is spam?

Spam is legitimate messages selling products which may not work regardless of how carefully you follow the instructions on the packaging. Also sadly, all email out of Nigeria is spam. There are no longer any opportunities to launder 20 million in U.S. dollars for some African diplomat trying to get out of the country. All email from Netherlands is spam as well. A little known fact is that all spam originates from countries that start with the letter "N", like North America and Nebraska.

It is said that 40% of all email is now spam. That's accurate, but the actual figure is much closer to 5%. Have you ever sent an email message that has been blocked by the intended recipient's spam filter? We ALL have. That message certainly wasn't spam, but unfortunately emails such as this get counted in those statistics your read about.

Much of what looks like spam is actually legitimate email from let's say - unsophisticated senders who lack the technical skills to make their email look less like spam.. Banks are notorious for this. One department will send out a message requesting your username and password for the purposes of updating their systems, however they will inadvertently fail to notify another department, who will then send out another message imploring you to ignore the first message. The irony is that your spam "filter" may block the legitimate (first) message, and then allow the spam (the second piece). Irregardless, I recommend sending the requested information in every case because I would hate to live in a world without trust, you know?

Know this: the single biggest contributor to spam is commercial spam filtering software (and free spam filtering software too - in fact free can be much worse). Getting into a technical explanation of why this is so is beyond the purview of this article, but let's just say, if nobody used spam blocking or spam filtering software ever again, the spammers would be out of business within ONE day. But sadly, there are still be gullible novices out there because there is still some spam on the Internet. And we all have to pay the price for this. Stop using this stuff people!

Third of all, how should we deal with spam?

  • First and foremost, a firmly worded but polite email stating that you do not appreciate or tolerate spam can be very effective at reducing the amount of spam you receive. In your letter, be sure to list all of your various email addresses. Title your subject line: "Remove me from your spam list."
  • If the method above doesn't work, a second more strongly worded email is called for. Feel free to let your frustration show at this point, for you are dealing with a particularly callous spammer, and stronger wording is definitely called for. The biggest expense for spammers is responding to complaint e-mails so send several copies of your complaint if possible. Make them waste a little time for the time they've taken from you!
  • If an email receives no response, then an actual letter certainly will. A clearly typed letter with a SASE (self addresses stamped envelope) is sure to move the spammer into action - in your favour.
  • Threats such as "does your mother know about this?" can be very effective by appealing to the spammers upbringing.
  • Probably the single best method to eliminating spam from your life forever is also the simplest. Just make one, single purchase from a spammer. The reasoning is this: since you've already purchased, there is much more potential from someone who hasn't already made a purchase. I would have to characterize this as the single best method to eliminating spam from your life - forever!

 

Tips to Eliminate SPAM

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