A unusual vertical panoramic of the atrium of the Ruby Princess.

Suspect Information, Ideas, and Opinions - rarely updated and of dubious quality.

It was a dark and stormy night

where WWW means Wretched Writers Welcome.

"While the nurse adjusted Achmed's body cast, he recounted that though he was a new arrival to the country and had never before driven anything faster than a cow, he was positively thrilled to obtain a new leased and loaded Chrysler mini-van; and so upon taking delivery of it from the dealership, promptly took the vehicle out on the 401 highway, set the cruise control, and then headed into the back to make breakfast."

That is going to be my entry into the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, where since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. These are an absolute riot - my favourite from the 2007 results:

I'll have a pack of cigarettes please.no, Marlboro 100's . . . lights please, in a box yeah, no, wait, give me a soft pack, no, not those, the ones right above them, no, no, right next to those, yeah, wait, make it two packs, no wait, how much are they . . . no, one pack will do me, and a lighter please, no the other one, yeah, that one will be fine, he said quickly.
Shane Spears Blytheville, AR
It was a dark and stormy night

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Maybe read No Big Deal, a story I consider to be the very best thing I ever wrote.