I didn't take this photo of the Monument Valley Tribal Park Navajo Reservation in Arizona - it's from: tarzanpanorama.net.  Awesome panoramics here.

Suspect Information, Ideas, and Opinions - rarely updated and of dubious quality.

Hurry! This won't last long!

This is where I store all of my loot from selling stuff on Kijiji...

Have you ever heard of Kijiji or Craigslist? They are essentially online classified ads and they're very popular currently. They are free to use, and unlike eBay no commission or fee is charged to place an ad or respond to an ad...no fees are charged to the buyer or the seller. Of the two sites, Craigslist has been around much longer but Kijiji is the newer and slicker little brother - Kijiji is actually owned by eBay...hopefully the eBay people don't screw up Kijiji like they did eBay...Kijiji and Craiglist now have a presence in every major city in North America as well as my minor city: Peterborough.

I'm actually a pretty heavy Kijiji user, especially since I moved recently and so have lots of crap merchandise for sale. I usually always keep at least three ads in circulation on the site and each my ads has a link to my "virtual garage sale" where I have more stuff for sale. Because of this, I tend to troll the Kijiji ads every couple of days. But so many ads on Kijiji and Craigslist just make me shake my head at the nerve and stupidity of some people. I can't be the only one who thinks these actual ads are just ridiculous:

"...we are looking for a small, lightweight 12 to 15 foot trailer. It can be in any condition; we would like it mainly as a cabin for writing. we are willing to trade poems for the trailer..."

I am going to state the obvious and say that these people have unrealistic expectations of the value of poetry. I wouldn't trade a trailer for one of Oscar Wilde's original poems, let alone a couple of hippie students who think the real world somehow resembles a university residence.

"...New Purple Sequenced (sic) Slippers - These slippers are purple with sequence as seen in pictures. They are new and never used, and still have the label on them. The cost $12.97 new. They were given to me by the mother in law, but they are too fancy for my liking..."

Just let me say that I don't want to be part of a world where purple sequins are considered "too fancy."

Personally I take pride in my ad copy. I eschew typos and am all aboot proper grammatical usements. In fact, I am responsible for such recent gems as:

"This is a bra for a Ford Escort or a very large and dominant woman. I used to own a 97 Escort Wagon. For some reason the Escort attracts stone chips like I attract terrible customer service from local retailers. So I bought the bra; the Le Bra brand..."

"This is an Arnold Palmer driver. I'm not saying it is Arnold's actual driver, I'm just saying is all. Like Arnold, it's got a graphite shaft. I'm getting rid of it because I am way too powerful for graphite; on my downswing the shaft flexes like a horseshoe for me. That and the fact that I am a terrible golfer who is giving up golf for good..."

Recently I wondered what would happen if I posted the worst bits of every bad ad I've ever seen on Kijiji into just one single ad? What if I asked for an idiotic price, typed out the ad in completely upper case, injected horrible typos, based my price on retail, was willing to only trade for something ridiculous, added stupid "urgencies" to the ad, a 6-digit phone number etc...would my item sell like a lightning bolt or would it completely bomb? (there's a question for the ages...) So I decided to create the worst possible ad that I can create.

And here it is! It's not even the worst ad I've seen on Kijiji, but I hope it will do the trick for this highly scientific experiment. It's for something I am actually selling - my son's dresser:

Now, the ad has been in for days now. To my surprise the item has not sold yet. I've received only one response:

This is a joke right? If not - then why on earth would somebody pay almost the same as you paid new for a dresser - that's totally ridiculous! I think your crappy dreser will last long (on the classifieds) I'm certainly in no hurry!
Are you on drugs?

OK, that hurt a little bit. But I think this proves that the people who sell stuff on Kijiji don't in turn ever buy stuff from Kijiji, or maybe it proves nothing at all.

Hurry! This won't last long!
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